ًWhenever I like a guy, I focus on the things in him that are missing in my life and blur out the rest. I fool myself into thinking I am in love and it could last.
It's not like I do this on purpose. When it is happening I totally believe I am in love. It's only when I step out and away that I realise the true depth of my feelings.
He was different because despite the harsh way with which things ended, I truly loved him.
With him I discovered a sensual side in me that I've always dreamed of but never truly felt.
In loving him I explored an amazingly wide spectrum of emotions. He'd come in the room and I'd melt on the spot, he'd write me that he misses me and my butterflies flutter, he'd smile at me and I'd completely dissolve in colors. Together we explored the sexiness of words, of textures, light, lines, colors and curves.
There was something incredibly sexy about his grounded knowledgable manner, the grace with which he walks, his obssession with details.
I was so mesmerized.
Then one day I woke up and it was all in the past. It all belonged to a less complicated, more translucent version of myself.
I long for a time where life was simple, where it was all about the right music, the right color and a flare of imagination.