Setu

I think of her alot these days
I wish I could've shared with her my past year with all of its ups and downs. I know she would have been proud, she always made me feel she was proud.

I talk to her alot in my head. I find myself suddenly telling her excitedly about my latest experiment, or like that day I was in a conference listening to Professor Richard J. Roberts and decided that he is my new crush.

I find myself wondering over and over again , why weren't their signs that she was leaving? Why did she have to be taken from me, from us, while we were asleep?

I really miss her. I hate it when I meet new people, when they become close to me, when I fall in love, and they all don't know how she was, what it was to me to have her around.

Most of the times I find it hard to talk about her. How stupid it is to say " my grand mother, may god rest her soul" How utterly ridiculous it is to sum all of my moments with setu in this sentence!. But sometimes I find myself pushing her name into conversations, wanting them to know she was here, she was alway here... She is always here ,in me.

I just hope there is enough of her in me to pass it on to my kids.